January 24, 2011

Just thought I would update anyone who is still following..
My Scan went excellent on the 5th and the doctor told us on the 10th that there is no cancer activity, and all that is left is scar tissue. I do have to go through about 4 weeks of radiation, once a day 5 days a week. Its a low dose though so the side effects shouldn't be too bad. I just had my "plan scan" yesterday so they can tell where exactly to shoot me with the radiation. I'm a little upset that I won't be done before my birthday but I'm still having a huge party to celebrate being free off cancer. The next and final step is surgery to remove my port a cath ! I cannot wait till that day! I'll be completely done with this doctor junk! Then I'm hoping for a beach vacation after all of this!
My life is slowly already getting back to normal. I go back to work for the first time in a few months today. My hair is growing in pretty fast actually. And I'm back to going out with my friends as much as I can!

here's some of my new pictures!

Dec. 16

NO MO CHEMO!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
My very last chemo, it was just like every other chemo. It wore me out and made me really tired. I could barley keep my eyes open but I had my mom, sister, and boyfriend there to support me. They annoyed me and took pictures of me but I'm so happy they were there to share that moment with me. I came home and I slept for about three hours and when I woke up I didn't feel normal but I felt pretty good for it being a chemo day. I wanted to watch Letters To God. I was going to watch it or any movie with my mom but she didn't think that movie was a good idea to watch, considering its about a little boy who has brain cancer. Well we decided that we were both too tired to watch a movie tonight but when I layed down I couldn't sleep so I opened my laptop and went to my netflix and decided to watch the movie by myself. I cried quite a bit. I think I should have watched this movie at the beginning of all of this and I would have been so much stronger. It was a great movie and I recommend it. It's really a tear-jerker though :]

Anyways I had my last chemotherapy today. I'm so happy!! And now I can proudly say, I'm a cancer survivor! not everyone who gets sick can survive but i am blessed enough to know that I can move on with my life now, I can start growing my hair again and I can start running again, probably not for a little while but I know I can do those things again.. I won't have to take 1397127238 pills everyday. I won't have to worry about white blood cell counts and red blood cell counts. I won't be needing any more blood transfusions, or hospital visits. I can go back to school and go back to work! I can start living normal again...
I could have not gone through all this without everyone's support..

Helen Mullner: Nurse Helen! Without her coming over when my white blood counts were down, my mom would have had to give me my shots, and I know she has some anger built up inside her for me so I'm very thankful for Helen!

Wilma Thorton: Without Wilma my mom would have been by herself a lot of times while I was in the hospital, she would have had to go eat lunch by herself and she would have annoyed me all day. Thanks for being there when she decided to walk out of the room when I had.. well a big moment... you were there to sprint down the hall to get her, haha that was hilarious :] ..oh I forgot you don't know what that smiley face is....

Joey: I'm so thankful for you and so happy that I had you through all of this. You're truly one of the only people that saw me at my best and my very worst. I wasn't always in the best of mood and i know i took a lot of it out on you and my mom and you both didn't deserve that but I know it's just because anybody else wouldn't understand and would get mad at me. You really helped me through a lot of tough times and I know this wasn't easy for you either. You may have not always known what to do or how to act but you did pretty good, yes I could name some stuff you could have been better at but that's just because I expect you to be perfect. We really got to know each other more than we already did and it really brought us closer. I know your upset that I'm going away next fall to college but I'll visit a lot and if we are really meant to be together then we'll stay together and I think we will, it won't be easy but we've been through worse together and I think we can get through that. You're my best friend and I love you!!

Aunt Joyce & Uncle Mike: thanks for always getting me the biggest stuffed animal you could find! I'm not exactly sure where to put them now but they looks awesome sitting in my hospital room! And Doctor Uncle Mike, thanks for all the pain killers, I'm glad you were there to call when I needed it every three hours instead of four, haha what would I have done with out you. Your the best doctor ever! I love you guys!

Stacy: Thanks for always coming to my chemos when you were off work and forcing me to play games. I wish you could have always been there because my chemos seemed to get boringer and made me get more anxious and soon they were all bad, you saw on my last one but I'm so happy you could be there. Thanks for making reindeer poop and getting a cake for my last chemo :] and my favorite hoodie i wear all the time now :] Love you sissy!

Daddy: I couldn't ask for a better dad. You have done everything you could for me and so much more. You're always getting me everything I have ever wanted and more. Yes I admit it, you spoil the crap out of me. When I wrecked my brand new car, we went out and got another brand new car! When we went to walmart and I rode around on the scooter, I impulsed and said I wanted a pillow pet, and now I sleep with a purple unicorn every night! My tv started to go and the next day you surprise me with a brand new one! You're the best dad in the world not just because you buy me things but you always want whats best for me. I love you daddy!!

Mom: Before all of this we never ever saw eye to eye, we were always arguing and never really wanted to spend time with each other for that reason. God has shown me a lot through all of this and he's really brought us closer together and I'm so happy to say that. You always stayed with me in the hospital and when I was to sore to even change my own clothes you did that for me and you helped me out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. We've learned a lot about each other over these past month and I've learned how caring you are and you know I would do the same for you now. You may have annoyed me the last time in the hospital but you know I would not have wanted to be alone. You sneaked me real food when all I was aloud to eat was nasty chicken broth. You were the only person to be there for me always, and I know your thinking, "well I'm your mother, of course I'll be there" but you didn't because I know I got on your nerves too but you still did everything you could for me, and that includes cleaning my room and folding my clothes while I just lay in bed watching. I really do believe one of the reasons for God giving me cancer is to bring me closer to my family, and I'm glad he did. Before all this I was not making the best of choices but now I see things in a different light and to live life like every moments your last, I love spending time with my family now and I'm so thankful for you guys and everything you guys do for me. I couldn't ask for a better mother and father. I love you so much!!!

december 15

Well monday was supposed to be my last chemo but my white blood count was too low so we had to wait three days. I got a shot every one of those days to bring up the count. I was really upset because i was really looking forward to that being the last one and being done with all of this but... We go back tomorrow and hopefully I can get my last poisoning and I'll be all done with my chemotherapy. Still not looking forward to tomorrow but i just keep reminding myself it's the last one and hopefully I will never have to go through this again. January 5th I have a PET Scan and then January 10 I will find out if I need radiation or not. I'm really praying that I don't and I can be all done!

I wanted to ask you guys to pray for some friends that were in a very bad car accident. One walked away with some scratches and bruises, another has punctured lungs, and another has a broken neck and is now paralyzed from the waste down. Just pray for strength for them and their families.

also I'm looking for a full time job for while I'm going to school starting in january.. so if you have any suggestions or could help me out let me know on my facebook.

Thank you all so much for all the encouragement and prayers throughout these past few months, I really do appreciate it and I don't think I could have been so positive without my friends and family and everyone's support.

Dec. 5

I've been doing really good lately! I went and visited some colleges this week, which I didn't feel the best that day of course but I got over it. I did a lot of walking too, so now I'm sore, it is pathetic that I am sore from walking! I am so excited though I have two chemo's this week and then one more! I can not wait till I can start having more energy and more strength, and hair!! We're still not sure about radiation though, but I'm just so happy to be almost done with chemo..
I'm so excited for my life to get back to normal! I'm going to get a full time job and take a few classes at SCC and then hopefully go to MoState in the fall! I can't wait!

My lovely boyfriend actually shaved my head for me because those little hairs falling out were getting annoying. And well I shaved his head too, I shaved a mohawk on his head though and then I dyed it purple :] it was awesome! But my mom pointed out, "How many boyfriends can say they shaved their girlfriends head?" well here are some funny pics:


this one is one of me trying to look like his dad :] I think i did a pretty good job!



and here's Joey! you can't really tell it's purple but it still looks cool!!

November 22

I had a really good week last week, I almost felt normal again! Still a little weak though but I got used to that. My stomach hasn't been hurting at all either lately which is awesome with Thanksgiving coming up :] I hope today's chemo won't be too hard on me. Typical, I'm wore out today but hopefully I can have another week like last week. But I just take things day by day.
I've really started looking back into going back to school. I found A LOT of scholarships too for people with cancer or cancer survivors, so hopefully I can get one for being a cancer survivor when I'm all done with this. I need to get accepted to a college first because I don't really want to go back to the community college, even though I was there for like two weeks... I've been looking into MO State they aren't too expensive.

Any who it was Dustin's last day of chemo today, i wish him luck and we still need to pray for him they still don't know if they got it all but I hope he did so he can get back to life..
Here's his story:
http://www.ksdk.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=227139

oh and here's meeee

Baldy!!! or fuzz ball?

My mother said, "Your head is like a pregnant lady's belly, everyone wants to rub it."
She's special... :] I love you mom!!

THREE MORE CHEMOS!!
thanks everyone, don't stop praying!!

Novemeber 10

So for the past week I was in the hospital. I went to the ER Wednesday night around 10pm and was in there all night till about 4:45am when they admitted me. I was there for the same reasons I was there last time, pain management!! As soon as I got to the ER and they hooked me up they were giving me dilaudid, which is stronger than morphine :] Also while in the hospital I was given shots of heperin, which raises my white blood cell count, and I was also given a blood transfusion, to raise my red blood cells. It gave me a little more energy, not too much but a little, it made me want to go for a walk around the hospital. Which to me felt like a work out, since I never move any more, when I got back to my room I was sweating! Pathetic.. :[ But the day they discharged me from the hospital I had a CT Scan and Chemo.. I was really not wanting to go to chemo, I cried almost the whole time, I was finally feeling pretty good and then the chemo just brought me right back down, and I did not want that.. Then today I had to go back for a part two of one of the chemo drugs, it wasn't that hard on me though, I was praying to God to give me strength, and he did. The chemo room today was full except for one seat and that was next to a guy who was close to my age I think he's 22. I'm not sure what kind of cancer he has but he was there yesterday too getting the same thing he was getting today and he'll have to go back for the rest of the week and the size of his chemo bags were huge and he had to get more than one. I really felt bad for crying the day before, I only had to be there maybe 2-3 hours while he was there all day everyday.. But I would like to think of him as my strength for today..

GOOD NEWS: the results from the CT Scan came back today, before the size of the mass was 6.9x4.6cm and the people in radiology told my onochologist that the scan was normal, (he was confused) The size of the mass is now 1.5cm.. Thank God the chemo is working, and so are your prayers..

5 MORE WEEKS!!!

November 3

I haven't been feeling good the past few days, since about Friday to be exact... Right before Halloween weekend too.. I did the best I could to have fun. A lot of pain medication and really just trying to not think about all the pain I was in..
I had chemo on monday and that really wore me out. I have never been so weak, I could barely get out of bed. My white blood count is really low again too, which is another reason why I've been so weak. So I get a shot everyday to make it go back up and what the shot does is make your own white blood cells from your bone marrow so my bones hurt pretty bad too.
So basically I feel pretty pathetic this week and would really appreciate all your prayers..
thank you all..