Dec. 16

NO MO CHEMO!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
My very last chemo, it was just like every other chemo. It wore me out and made me really tired. I could barley keep my eyes open but I had my mom, sister, and boyfriend there to support me. They annoyed me and took pictures of me but I'm so happy they were there to share that moment with me. I came home and I slept for about three hours and when I woke up I didn't feel normal but I felt pretty good for it being a chemo day. I wanted to watch Letters To God. I was going to watch it or any movie with my mom but she didn't think that movie was a good idea to watch, considering its about a little boy who has brain cancer. Well we decided that we were both too tired to watch a movie tonight but when I layed down I couldn't sleep so I opened my laptop and went to my netflix and decided to watch the movie by myself. I cried quite a bit. I think I should have watched this movie at the beginning of all of this and I would have been so much stronger. It was a great movie and I recommend it. It's really a tear-jerker though :]

Anyways I had my last chemotherapy today. I'm so happy!! And now I can proudly say, I'm a cancer survivor! not everyone who gets sick can survive but i am blessed enough to know that I can move on with my life now, I can start growing my hair again and I can start running again, probably not for a little while but I know I can do those things again.. I won't have to take 1397127238 pills everyday. I won't have to worry about white blood cell counts and red blood cell counts. I won't be needing any more blood transfusions, or hospital visits. I can go back to school and go back to work! I can start living normal again...
I could have not gone through all this without everyone's support..

Helen Mullner: Nurse Helen! Without her coming over when my white blood counts were down, my mom would have had to give me my shots, and I know she has some anger built up inside her for me so I'm very thankful for Helen!

Wilma Thorton: Without Wilma my mom would have been by herself a lot of times while I was in the hospital, she would have had to go eat lunch by herself and she would have annoyed me all day. Thanks for being there when she decided to walk out of the room when I had.. well a big moment... you were there to sprint down the hall to get her, haha that was hilarious :] ..oh I forgot you don't know what that smiley face is....

Joey: I'm so thankful for you and so happy that I had you through all of this. You're truly one of the only people that saw me at my best and my very worst. I wasn't always in the best of mood and i know i took a lot of it out on you and my mom and you both didn't deserve that but I know it's just because anybody else wouldn't understand and would get mad at me. You really helped me through a lot of tough times and I know this wasn't easy for you either. You may have not always known what to do or how to act but you did pretty good, yes I could name some stuff you could have been better at but that's just because I expect you to be perfect. We really got to know each other more than we already did and it really brought us closer. I know your upset that I'm going away next fall to college but I'll visit a lot and if we are really meant to be together then we'll stay together and I think we will, it won't be easy but we've been through worse together and I think we can get through that. You're my best friend and I love you!!

Aunt Joyce & Uncle Mike: thanks for always getting me the biggest stuffed animal you could find! I'm not exactly sure where to put them now but they looks awesome sitting in my hospital room! And Doctor Uncle Mike, thanks for all the pain killers, I'm glad you were there to call when I needed it every three hours instead of four, haha what would I have done with out you. Your the best doctor ever! I love you guys!

Stacy: Thanks for always coming to my chemos when you were off work and forcing me to play games. I wish you could have always been there because my chemos seemed to get boringer and made me get more anxious and soon they were all bad, you saw on my last one but I'm so happy you could be there. Thanks for making reindeer poop and getting a cake for my last chemo :] and my favorite hoodie i wear all the time now :] Love you sissy!

Daddy: I couldn't ask for a better dad. You have done everything you could for me and so much more. You're always getting me everything I have ever wanted and more. Yes I admit it, you spoil the crap out of me. When I wrecked my brand new car, we went out and got another brand new car! When we went to walmart and I rode around on the scooter, I impulsed and said I wanted a pillow pet, and now I sleep with a purple unicorn every night! My tv started to go and the next day you surprise me with a brand new one! You're the best dad in the world not just because you buy me things but you always want whats best for me. I love you daddy!!

Mom: Before all of this we never ever saw eye to eye, we were always arguing and never really wanted to spend time with each other for that reason. God has shown me a lot through all of this and he's really brought us closer together and I'm so happy to say that. You always stayed with me in the hospital and when I was to sore to even change my own clothes you did that for me and you helped me out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. We've learned a lot about each other over these past month and I've learned how caring you are and you know I would do the same for you now. You may have annoyed me the last time in the hospital but you know I would not have wanted to be alone. You sneaked me real food when all I was aloud to eat was nasty chicken broth. You were the only person to be there for me always, and I know your thinking, "well I'm your mother, of course I'll be there" but you didn't because I know I got on your nerves too but you still did everything you could for me, and that includes cleaning my room and folding my clothes while I just lay in bed watching. I really do believe one of the reasons for God giving me cancer is to bring me closer to my family, and I'm glad he did. Before all this I was not making the best of choices but now I see things in a different light and to live life like every moments your last, I love spending time with my family now and I'm so thankful for you guys and everything you guys do for me. I couldn't ask for a better mother and father. I love you so much!!!

december 15

Well monday was supposed to be my last chemo but my white blood count was too low so we had to wait three days. I got a shot every one of those days to bring up the count. I was really upset because i was really looking forward to that being the last one and being done with all of this but... We go back tomorrow and hopefully I can get my last poisoning and I'll be all done with my chemotherapy. Still not looking forward to tomorrow but i just keep reminding myself it's the last one and hopefully I will never have to go through this again. January 5th I have a PET Scan and then January 10 I will find out if I need radiation or not. I'm really praying that I don't and I can be all done!

I wanted to ask you guys to pray for some friends that were in a very bad car accident. One walked away with some scratches and bruises, another has punctured lungs, and another has a broken neck and is now paralyzed from the waste down. Just pray for strength for them and their families.

also I'm looking for a full time job for while I'm going to school starting in january.. so if you have any suggestions or could help me out let me know on my facebook.

Thank you all so much for all the encouragement and prayers throughout these past few months, I really do appreciate it and I don't think I could have been so positive without my friends and family and everyone's support.

Dec. 5

I've been doing really good lately! I went and visited some colleges this week, which I didn't feel the best that day of course but I got over it. I did a lot of walking too, so now I'm sore, it is pathetic that I am sore from walking! I am so excited though I have two chemo's this week and then one more! I can not wait till I can start having more energy and more strength, and hair!! We're still not sure about radiation though, but I'm just so happy to be almost done with chemo..
I'm so excited for my life to get back to normal! I'm going to get a full time job and take a few classes at SCC and then hopefully go to MoState in the fall! I can't wait!

My lovely boyfriend actually shaved my head for me because those little hairs falling out were getting annoying. And well I shaved his head too, I shaved a mohawk on his head though and then I dyed it purple :] it was awesome! But my mom pointed out, "How many boyfriends can say they shaved their girlfriends head?" well here are some funny pics:


this one is one of me trying to look like his dad :] I think i did a pretty good job!



and here's Joey! you can't really tell it's purple but it still looks cool!!